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Who knew that 77 years after his death that Sigmund Freud would still be haunting my inbox every day?

The authors who write for WebMD (henceforth known as WebBM) are apparently big fans of Freud's theories of psychosexual development. But, it would seem that they didn't finish the chapter. They got stuck in the anal phase, between the ages 2-4:

"Anal fixation can occur due to the discrepancy between the praise given for successful toilet practice and the coexisting disgust of fecal material." I cannot think of any other logical explanation for the preponderance of feces-related stories on their site. Cause these guys are nothing if not fixated. Freud

Their most recent offering, which bears the elegant title "What Kind of Poop Do I Have" (a suboptimal choice for dinner conversation) offers seven choices, all of which are described in eloquent detail. It is not recommended reading, unless you liked "Jackass, the Movie" (1). And then still maybe not.

After all, why do I need to know "19 Constipation Myths and Facts," which appeared on their site only a month ago? This seems like overkill. Fifteen would have done very nicely, thank you.

Speaking of overkill, will someone please explain to me why, when you already know 19 reasons that your can't poop, this is necessary: "Why Can’t I Poop?"

I suppose that they should be given some credit, both for branching out a bit, as well a using some fine alliteration: "Scoop on Pee and Poop."

I don't want to dwell on this, but having experienced the abject misery of online dating, especially when you meet someone with whom you have absolutely nothing to talk about, the following may be a pretty good icebreaker: "Accidental Bowel Leakage."

And, it's not like the rest of their stuff is all that great either, something recently discussed by my colleague Dr. Lila Abassi. Enough already.I need to figure out how to unsubscribe from their wretched daily newsletter. A complete waste of time. I have plenty of other s#### (stuff) to do with my time.


(1) Confession: I liked "Jackass the Movie." Like you're so perfect?