News of the Bizarre: July 5, 2017

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1. Seeya Nostra - the economy is so bad in the Sicilian region of Italy - the official unemployment rate is 22 percent, and we know that government numbers are bogus - that the mafia has given up on extorting fellow Italians and started moving to Germany. It sounds like the worst Godfather sequel ever. 

2. NASA forced to admit it does not have a child slave colony on Mars

On Infowars, Alex Jones had on his program Robert David Steele, who claims to have been a former clandestine services case officer at the Central Intelligence Agency. Steele told the audience that NASA had sent kidnapped children on a 20 year space ride to establish a colony on Mars. He said NASA also murders some of them for their blood and bone marrow.

NASA's annual budget is $16 billion and costs to send even a cute robot there are huge. How did they hide all the funding needed to create a whole secret colony and prevent amateur astronomers - who beat the telescopes out of government ones seeing all kinds of things - from detecting anything? Why do you think government hammers cost $30,000?

NASA denies his claims. Well they wouldn't wouldn't they?

3. Czech nuclear plant chooses interns using a bikini contest.

How safe is nuclear power? So safe you don't need any expertise.

In Czech Republic, they are so convinced of safety they chose interns using a bikini contest.

Sexist, empowering or the ultimate validation of green energy?

In our postmoderism world, it simply depends on who you ask.

They didn't completely abdicate safety. The bikini-clad women had to wear hard hats. After the outcry, all of the interns were offered jobs.


4. Disability charity found to have discriminated against a person with disabilities

An applicant for a supervisor position at The Workplace Relations Commission (WRC) disclosed in a personal statement attached to his resume that he had dyslexia and Asperger’s Syndrome. When he was not called for an interview despite his qualifications he asked why and the charity said there was an error in scoring his application. The complainant did not accept this explanation and sought an investigation under equality legislation in order to ensure that the disability disclosed in his application had not been a factor in the outcome.

The charity reaffirmed that they had not discriminated against him - as if they would accept that explanation from any private company. An investigation showed there had been a number of erasures and revisions on the final marking sheet for applications and that there were “inconsistent and erroneous” application of the selection criteria, which constituted discrimination against the complainant on grounds of disability as a prospective employee, contrary to the Employment Equality Acts. He received around $10,000 as a settlement.

5. Congressional Cemetery can have Yoga. It can have goats. But it can't Goat Yoga

On the coasts of the U.S., where wealthy elites are in a constant state of anxiety about not using their money to get back to nature, Goat Yoga is a thing. No, it is not goats doing yoga - I'd pay to see that - it is doing yoga around goats.

Look, anyone who was raised on a farm knows there are a lot of bad things that will happen in the vicinity of animals, so it seems like an IQ test not to have your face and body near their posteriors while exercising, but that is not the issue. The issue is Big Government not allowing it.

When Paul Williams, president of the nonprofit that runs Congressional Cemetery, spotted the new yoga trend on Facebook and new if women in Oregon were doing it, D.C. would be sure to follow, and since the D.C. government had a waiver for "exotic animals" used for "educational purposes" he rationalized that goat yoga qualified. They had allowed goats to help eat some ivy. They allowed yoga.

The D.C. Department of Health denied his claim that talking about how yoga was good for the digestive system while humans did yoga and watched goats utilize their digestive systems was a valid educational exercise. 

The government also worried that someone would fall over on a goat while doing yoga, harming it.