WebDumB's Insane Germaphobic Advice

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You can always count on WebDumB to come up with silly nonsense and today they did not disappoint. Their "12 Public Hot Spots for Germs" article must have been written by someone with a sense of humor. Or maybe not. In which case the following should provide the humor (at their expense, of course). I mean, how can you not laugh at some of these? Here are three. 

1. ELEVATOR BUTTONS

WebDumB suggests "be wary of elevator buttons, too. Push them with your elbow..."

There are a number of problems with pushing elevators with your elbow. First, you will look like a raving lunatic.

 

Original photo: The Awesome Daily

Second, tennis elbow is bad enough, but elevator elbow can be disabling. Fortunately, there are some evidence-based remedies for elevator elbow (Figure 1).

Figure 1. Evidence-based remedies for elevator elbow. 

2. HOTEL ROOMS

"There are quite a few more extras in here than the mint on your pillow. The TV remote is the dirtiest item. "

Photo: WebMD

Have you been in a hotel recently?? Cause if you have you know damn well that the thing to be avoided at all cost is the bedspread! Ewwwwwwww.

Fortunately, our crack team of microbiologists at ACSH was able to identify three pathogens at a Red Roof Inn & Suites in Michigan, thus avoiding a potentially catastrophic public health crisis.

.

Photo: Trip Advisor

C'mon folks! We're all adults here. Like we don't know what goes on in $49 hotel rooms?

Original Photo: Mills and Nebraska

3. ATMs

"As for ATMs, companies hope to roll out touchscreens with antimicrobial glass to fight cold and flu. For now though, your best defense is to press the buttons with a pen."

A pen? Who carries around a pen?? And even if you do, you're gonna look like a major idiot poking a ballpoint pen at ATM keys. And if you use a fountain pen it's even worse. There must be better methods to protect yourself from pathogen-ridden ATMs. How about this one?

AnTler-Management System© Original Photo: BrainJet

Or maybe just disinfect it first. 

Original Photo: YouTube 

Well, it was a pretty slow news day. Emergency Room visits for fluoride mind control were down. Dick Cheney didn't jump out of a Nutrasweet packet. And Dr. Oz didn't give any sagacious medical advice. Same old. Good thing WebDumB was around to pick up the slack. 

It's nice to know that there is someone you can count on.

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