Let's Celebrate National Bidet Day! (With Apologies to ABBA)

By Josh Bloom — Nov 18, 2025
November 19th is National Bidet Day. Why? Who knows. But let's not waste an opportunity to make fun of it. Dust off that disco suit.
ACSH article image
Image: ACSH

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(Yes, this is the real music from the intro.)

 

INTRO

You can dance, you can spray,
Sit on your favorite bidet, ohh.
See that girl, watch her twirl,
Diggin' the Splashing Queen.

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Friday night and your bum is ripe,
Bathroom’s empty, you need to wipe.
Look in the loo and you start to sing,
Toilet fit for a king.

Any bathroom could be supplied,
Crank up the jets, then let – it – dry.
Put on some clean undies, then pull up your pants,
It’s your time to dance.

And when you get a chance...

 

CHORUS

You are the Splashing Queen,
Young and clean, only seventeen.
Splashing Queen, feel the touch of the cleansing stream,
Ohh yeah!

You can dance, you can spray,
Sit on your favorite bidet, ohh.
See that girl, watch her twirl,
Diggin' the Splashing Queen.

(Fade out)

 

 

 

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Josh Bloom

Director of Chemical and Pharmaceutical Science

Dr. Josh Bloom, the Director of Chemical and Pharmaceutical Science, comes from the world of drug discovery, where he did research for more than 20 years. He holds a Ph.D. in chemistry.

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