'Twas 9 days 'til Christmas and all through this joint
The accountant was asking again, "What's the point?
Anti-science hippies are running amok
Real science takes too much money, we're fresh out of luck
"The cash is in doomsday, gloom and despair
Yes, we're pro-science, yes, it's not fair
But the public has spoken, their interest is small
That's how the free market works, after all
"Maybe shade tree, holistic or BPA-free
That might get presents under our tree
Endorse more organic, enjoy a juice cleanse
Say vaccines are bad, it could make us new friends"
I felt so dejected, my heart had no glee
I was so mopey I could work at EWG
Or Greenpeace or Fenton or for that Null guy
Maybe I could even...