For those few of you who don't know, April 8th is Dog Farting Awareness Day. If ACSH doesn't spread awareness of this vital event, our mission is sadly gone. But fear not. If this doesn't get us back on track, then nothing will.
The website International Days has somehow determined that today, April 8th, is Dog Farting Awareness Day. This begs a number of questions:
1) Who came up with this idea and why?
After all, it's not like your average dog owner is likely to be ignorant of this phenomenon. The Internet is jam-packed with people asking for help and getting back responses that may or may not be helpful. For example:
My dog farts on my face when I am sleeping. It grosses me out. I went to the vet and he said he is okay. What do I do?
Analysis: Interpreted strictly as written, it can be argued that the vet himself is proclaiming that he is okay. Whether this is because he doesn't have a dog farting in his face is unknown. (I know this is a grammatical error but I don't know which one. English majors, please advise.)
Some advice from... well, exactly the kind of person who might answer such a question. Note its clear thinking and analytical response, no doubt the product of a fine mind:
"I would wait until your dog is sleeping and fart on his face. That way he knows what it's like." <----- Certified moron alert. Yeah, that'll teach him. And it's as if this shrewd strategy hasn't been tried before. Google "YouTube fart at your dog" and there will be 3.5 million hits, a nice use of leisure time if ever there were one. Here's an example.
2) Why April 8th?
Until you delve into the insane world of awareness days it is impossible to even imagine the number and scope of them. There are at least a dozen awareness items for April 8th alone. Here are a few. Odd, but harmless enough. The real question should be why not April 8th?
A few (of many) awareness days are held on April 8th. A bit strange, but harmless enough.
And there are dozens for the upcoming week, including...
Then there's this, which is celebrated on April 14th. Note that I have left out the title. For a good reason. It's in very poor taste, even for me. I can promise you two things:
1. You could live 200,000 years and never guess the name from the photo. Never.
2. You will most likely find it offensive.
But, if you're game and want to see what is almost certainly the most bizarre recognition day you can find it here. Don't say I didn't warn you.
Mystery Day, April 14th. Prepare yourself.
3) Is it possible that Dog Far Awareness Day is actually necessary? Maybe, based on a comment from this imbecile on Quora:
"My dog farted and it smells really bad. Should I get him put down?"
Assuming this is serious (in the context of the post, I think it probably is) the following reply is both pithy and direct...
"I’m going to put you down for having bad breath."
Don't ask AI for dog fart humor. Or any other kind
My experience with ChatGPT and humor has not been good. Not even close. This has not changed. I asked it to write a limerick about Dog Fart Awareness Day. Simply terrible. Then I challenged it to do better. Shoulda known better.
Me: Write a funny limerick about dog farts
ChatGPT:
There once was a pup named Lou,
Whose farts could peel paint, it's true.
With a toot and a honk,
He cleared rooms with a clonk,
Leaving noses in a stinky stew!
Me: Funnier, please.
ChatGPT:
There once was a dog, quite spry,
Whose farts could make grown men cry.
With a sound like a trombone,
He'd clear a room all alone, Leaving folks gasping, "Oh my!"
Me: You're killing me. I said funnier, not dumber.
ChatGPT:
There was a pooch named Sir Snoot,
Whose farts were known to uproot.
With a rumble and a roar,
He'd clear the room, and more,
Leaving noses searching for a parachute!
Me (giving up): You're terrible at this
ChatGPT: "My apologies if the limericks didn't meet your expectations. Humor can be subjective, and I understand if they didn't resonate with you. If you have any specific preferences or ideas for a funnier limerick about dog farts, feel free to share, and I'll do my best to create something that suits your taste!"
Me: Good luck. That ain't gonna happen.
ChatGPT: I understand, and I appreciate your honesty. If there's anything else I can assist you with, whether it's a different topic or type of content, please feel free to let me know. I'm here to help!
Me: I think I'll pass.
Time to celebrate!
Dog Fart Awareness Day, although vitally important still does not have the cachet of, say, July 4th. There will be no visible fireworks, but explosions? One could argue yes.
