(I Got) The Paxlovid Blues

If you haven't taken Paxlovid you cannot possibly fathom the vile sensory experience called "Paxlovid tongue." What to do? Write a song. The Blues, of course.










C7 (1) Woke up in the morning,

pounding in my head

C7 Opened up a test kit,

with a scary sense of dread.  


F7 Do I have the virus?

or do I have a cold?

C7 It doesn't really matter,

cause it can be controlled.


G7 Oh, I'm not apprehensive

F7 Pfizer's got my back

C7 Got me some Paxlovid

G7 and opened up the pack.


(Piano riff)

Image: Wikimedia Commons


C7 I didn't know what hit me

I couldn't stand the taste

C7 I'd rather dine on concrete

spiked with nuclear waste


F7 My taste buds had betrayed me

in the most disgusting way

C7 I tried to rip my tongue out

but my teeth got in the way


G7 Tried to scrub with Brillo

F7 and gargling with booze

C7 But there ain't no cure

for the Paxlovid blues. (2)

Obligatory harmonica solo, preferably by some guy with puke in his beard...

Image: Sweetwater


(1) For you non-musicians, a C7 chord, a staple of blues music, consists of C-E-G-B-flat. 

(2) Fine, I'm halfway through my course of the drug, and it's fairly nasty, but it's also a great drug that could keep me from getting really sick  So suck it up for 5 days and stop whining like me.