OK, I've been delaying the shingles vaccine for a while because I’ve been too chickens#it to get it. Maybe understandable, but also unacceptable.
While on the line for my annual flu shot (now is the best time), I got talked into getting Shingrix shot #1 (of 2) at the same time (but in the other arm). I went for it.
So, I had a couple of sore arms. I could complain about it or write a blues song.
Or do both.
(I got the) 'Two Arm Blues'
Woke up Monday mornin’, I turned on the TV,
Some guy in a white coat he was hollerin’ at me,
His message was alarming, and filled me full of fear
“Get yourself to Walgreens, the goddam flu is here.”
I hustled to the drugstore, I was overdue,
I rolled up my sleeve but the nurse said, “Boy, let’s give you two.”
She said, “We’ve have got some Shingrix and much to my chagrin
I had no time to argue — she jammed that needle in.
She told me don’t you worry, said I’d be just fine,
I started to object, but she said, “Boy, now don’t you whine.”
Now my left arm’s burnin’, my right one’s achin’ too,
And Lord, if I had a third one, it would hurt me too.
Chorus
Oh, There ain’t no doubt about it…
I got the two-arm blues!
No mistaken’ that I’m aching’
And I don’t know what to do.
(Harmonica solo)
I can’t pull up my zipper, or even brush my teeth,
I’m tryin’ to be chipper, but my body’s full of grief.
I won’t be gettin’ shingles, might just dodge the flu
I tried to take a walk, but I couldn’t tie my shoe.
One arm looks like a lobster, the other Kobe beef,
Both arms truly hurtin’, Lord, I could sure use relief.
My wife called me a baby — man, that hurt a lot,
I know I should be thankful, but complainin’s all I got.
My shoulders are on fire, I finished all the booze,
So I’m cryin’ to the heavens:
I got the two-arm blues!
Oh, there ain’t no doubt about it…
I got the two-arm blues!
No mistaken’ that I’m aching’
And I don’t know what to do.
(Harmonica solo) fades out...
So, there you have it. Personally, I think you have to be out of your mind NOT to get the shingles vaccine, especially once you become an old coot like moi. And who knows what neuron might fire in Kennedy's head at a given time, and the next thing you know, it's no longer available, and we’re told to swallow minnows instead.
Josh Bloom
Dr. Jonathan (Josh) Bloom, ACSH's Director of Chemical and Pharmaceutical Sciences, earned his Ph.D. at the University of Virginia and completed postdoctoral training at the University of Pennsylvania. During his 20-plus years in drug discovery at Wyeth, his research group discovered the antibiotic Tygacil®, approved in 2005. He holds 25 issued patents and has authored 35 academic papers. Since joining ACSH in 2010, he has written more than 2,000 articles and dozens of op-eds for major newspapers, including The Wall Street Journal and Chicago Tribune.
